Your Personal Guide to Self Improvement

June 17, 2010

Top 8 Tips for Happy Relationships

Filed under: Uncategorized — nicenwise @ 8:00 pm

Relationships are important in any aspect of life weather it is friendships, personal relationships, business or working. When the relationship is happy and strong there are immense benefits like joyful company including material and emotional benefits. There are a various other factors that go into creation of a relationship. These include trust, love, mutual respect, a sense of belonging etc. It is important to balance them to successfully drive a relationship and extract happiness out of it. The following are the top 8 tips which help in making any relationship happy and worth living.

Trust

No relationship can survive with a lack of trust between the individuals involved. It is very essential to maintain and continuously strengthen the trust throughout the relationship. Trust forms the basis on which happy relationships are built strong to survive any storm.

Transparent Communication

Every relationship passes through struggle and conflict at some point. No relationship is perfect. Therefore it is important to maintain open communication, no matter how small or complicated is the conflict between them. This helps to resolve any conflict if patience and tact are applied. If the lines of communication are broken down even minor conflicts gets elevated, bringing discord in the relationship.

Respect

A relationship cannot yield happiness if the persons involved do not respect each other. Respect strengthens loyalty towards the individuals. Without respect it is difficult to maintain cordiality which is essential for any happy relationship.

Honesty

No relationship can be built on lies.  You have to instill trust in you by your words and actions. Only then the others will be able to share their thoughts, views and feelings with you. Individuals have different needs and expectations. Hence it is very to show others that you can be relied upon in difficult times. Distrust and dishonesty are destroyers of any relationship.

Care and Concern

In any relationship, the people involved need to show how much they care for the other. Care can be in the form of support in turbulent times or can also be by being a crying shoulder and listening to the problems which other person is going through in their life. Giving credit to the other person when it is due and genuine appreciation in public can make the relationship grow stronger.

Understanding

Mutual understanding plays an important role in the success of any happy relationship as, every individual is different. Each one of us has unique strengths and weaknesses. Avoid criticizing the other person’s flaws in public. This gives rise to a feeling of insecurity within the partner and can create misunderstanding.

Appreciation

Every individual crave for recognition and hence it is very important to always express appreciation of the achievements or deeds of others however small they may be.  In the absence of appreciation, dissension and dissatisfaction creep in and spoil an otherwise happy relationship.

Excitement

With passage of time, every relationship becomes dull and boring. This can make the people drift apart as they are disinterested in the relationship as they feel neglected or ignored.  To enliven the relationship you should constantly have some fun through regular interactions or visits without disturbing the other person’s routine.

May 17, 2010

Stop Snoring and Start Sleeping Like a Baby

Filed under: Behavior Correction — nicenwise @ 5:39 pm
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April 15, 2010

How to Cope with Teenage Peer Pressure

Filed under: Uncategorized — nicenwise @ 1:53 pm
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You do not have the coolest sports shoes? Are you not in the  coolest gang in school? You do not get invited to the hottest party of the year? Gosh! There are many such questions causing a lot of discomfiture, inconvenience and embarrasment to teenagers today and it is all because of – - - Peer Pressure.

Peer pressure in today’s high schools is so evident and strong that it almost has a physical form.

Here’s some ways to cope up with what is every teenager’s nightmare-

  • Firstly, be confident about yourself. Changing for other’s sake isn’t going to take you anywhere.
  • Everybody is not born charismatic. Learn the art of sweet talk.
  • Nobody likes snobs. Be genuine and sincere.  Eventually your friends will accept you just the way you are.
  • Sometimes, what looks attractive today may eventually ruin your life in the future.  Learn to avoid these
  • Here’s a fact – there is nothing like ‘cool’. Everybody has strengths and weaknesses. 
  • Turning your weakness into strength is a challenge -  For instance, I know of a person who found it difficult to understand and recall lectures.  Nora (name changed) had to put in tremendous effort to graduate.  Nora is now a teacher in a primary school. She is also one of the most popular and sought after teachers.  She can identify the same hesitance and difficulty some children have in studying.  She knows just how to guide them and help them undertand the lessons as well as the other children in the class. 
  • Teasing, getting bullied a little, worrying if you look good , are all experiences of teenage years. Everybody goes through it, so you are not alone.
  • Face everything with a smile, but adhere to your principles.
  • For issues that do not meet your approval either ethically or emotionally, have the strength to say “No”, firmly and kindlly
  •  Compromise is important to fit in, just as long as it happens within the framework of your beliefs and rules 

Remember in the big world out there, nobody cares what you were, when at  high school. What you make of yourself and how well you fit into the fabric of the society is much much more important!

March 27, 2010

How to Control Anger and Build Happy Relationships

How often do you find yourself fighting against your own anger and not able to keep it under control?  It is not uncommon to see people who get angry too often being shunned and branded as unsociable.  Losing your temper once in a while is quite natural and human but if you your anger is out of control and too often, it is a matter of concern.

By controlling your anger you can prevent indigestion and too much of your body’s energy is sucked into the anger process.  You can prevent falling victim to a number of health problems such as migraine, fatigue and hypertension.

Anger can cost you friendships and relationships.  If you do not control your bad temper it may also lead to loss of your career, goodwill and other benefits of a smooth social behavior.

Why lose your temper only to lose your good health and good relationships?

Knowing the ill effects of too much anger you may be trying ways to control it.  You can find good advice on the internet and can practice some of them. Controlling your anger can lead to lasting relationships, popularity and a sense of being accepted.

But how do you go about it?

  1. Focus on the positive side of everything. It will surprise you to know that in the midst of so many good things you have been looking at the negatives.
  2. Develop empathy and forgiveness.  The angry mind goes blind and may lead you to irreparable mistakes.
  3. Learn deep breathing and meditation which can calm down your nervous system and to think clearly and act sensibly.
  4. We often forget to relax. Make a conscious effort to relax. Learn and practice relaxation exercises or music. This is a fantastic way to cool down when you feel the heat of any conflicting situation. Make a conscious decision to stay calm under all circumstances. Only a calm mind can help you to view things in the right perspective.
  5. You can also consider specific programs if you are unable to control your bad temper.

Self hypnosis is a wonderful way to control your mind and achieve whatever you want. This is a powerful tool to gain control over your emotions and actions. It is truly helpful in anger control on a long term basis and is easy to master quickly.

It is never too late to make a beginning and achieve total control over anger.

Begin Now!

March 17, 2010

How to Be Assertive in Any Situation

Filed under: Behavior Correction — nicenwise @ 12:47 pm
Tags: , ,

Assertiveness is one the most important leadership qualities. With assertiveness you can stand up for your rights and needs without harming others. When you are assertive the end result is you achieve a ‘win-win’ outcome for you and the other side. Being aggressive or passive can spoil your chances of being recognized as person to be taken seriously or make you more enemies than friends.

You can be assertive and still be popular and respected if you can learn the art of being assertive. There are a few conscious steps that can make you assertive.

• Maintain open communication and be genuine in discussing issues on hand with others.

• Be honest and state the facts clearly for the other person to get your viewpoint.

• Encourage questions and talk in a respectful manner without raising your voice or using abusive language.

• Try genuinely to find a solution that can satisfy either sides or get them see reason.

• Rely only on facts and not on assumptions that can affect your credibility.

• Allowing the other person or side to explain their position and try to understand their point of view.

• Never forget that you have the right to say “No”.

These are steps that will enable you to be firm and still be understood and respected. Assertiveness is essential when you deal with growing children or a class of students or any group. Unless you are assertive you run the risk of getting things done or simply taken for granted.

Most people find it difficult to say “No” and suffer the after effects later on. You can be assertive and also achieve positive results for both sides. When you are asked to do things which you would not do otherwise, it is better to explain your side and suggest an alternative that would result in a result that satisfies the other side. If you are faced with situations that challenge the values you hold high you must say ‘No” assertively. If you make it a habit to say ‘no’ when you want to, you will never have to cow down to pressure. Being assertive leads you to a positive solution and not regrets.

Assertiveness comes with practice and will help you in branding you as a person of commitment and integrity.

February 16, 2010

Taking Initiative – The Key to Success

Filed under: Uncategorized — nicenwise @ 2:03 pm
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Are you aiming for a promotion at your job? Got a great idea for a book but never got down to write it? The list may go on..

Never get daunted by any task that seems too huge or complicated.

With smaller the steps, any task is easy to accomplish. Once you get down to business by taking the small steps you would surprise yourself by the enthusiasm that kicks off your momentum. You keep moving forward and before you realize it, you are nearing the finishing line!

It only takes a strong will power and perseverance to make it happen.  For example you just need a part time job while you are studying.  You want to get practical experience and also earn to meet a part of your education costs.  You start looking around as well as keep your eyes and ears open about possible opportunities that you can target. You have your resume copies ready and start asking around with seniors and friends. Don’t get discouraged when this method gets no results.  Alternatively you can try visiting the nearby businesses that are relevant to your field of study to request for an apprenticeship on part time basis or as a vacation job. Just make repeated visits and try to make conversation with the Manager or someone at the helm. Keep visiting periodically to show that you are genuinely interested in an opening with the company. You can ask questions to express your interest in working for them and to know the qualities the company expects from the applicants and about future openings etc.  This will definitely make a positive impact with the company and they would certainly remember to consider you. You are most likely to get a call from them when an opportunity arises.

So taking the initiative, breaking the task into small steps to follow up and persevering is the guaranteed path to achieve success or great results you have never imagined in your wildest dreams.

November 18, 2009

How to Master Self Discipline – 5 Simple Ideas

Filed under: Uncategorized — nicenwise @ 3:27 pm
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Self discipline is a great self improvement tool and an ongoing process that brings lasting results. You can overcome any self destructing habits and empower yourself for a better life. There are always unforeseen circumstances, challenges and obstacles on your way to success and achievement. To emerge successful you must persevere and be strong. In this article we will examine the 5 most important things that help you to master self discipline.

The 5 easy ways to master Self Discipline are:

1. Take responsibility: Acknowledging your own responsibility is the first step to increase your own mental strength. Your sense of responsibility will drive you to take stock of what are all the areas where you need to improve and act accordingly.

2. Persistence: Never give up and say no to your negative thoughts and get busy to ward off any lethargy or self defeating thoughts. You should develop your resistance power and tenacity. Through this you can set your path to self discipline. Once you set in motion your action plan, nothing can stop you from climbing your ladder to self improvement.

3. Visualize the end result: Whenever you feel bored or lethargic, take a few deep breaths and let go off tension and relax for a while. Pause and visualize the actions at hand as if they were already completed. Analyze the rewards or benefits and feel the entire scene in every detail. This will motivate you to continue with your next assignment. This step prepares both your conscious mind and subconscious for a planned and proactive way of everyday living. When you keep repeating the process, the motivation to act will grow stronger and stronger, until a firm habit is formed in your path of self discipline.

4. Develop Will power: Willpower is your pillar of strength. Though difficult to sustain, it helps you to deal with your problems strategically. Try to emulate your role models. It will serve as a source of inspiration for you to move forward in your path of self discipline.

5. Get Organized: Act with conviction in whatever task you have taken upon. Have a written list of goals to accomplish and a detailed plan of action. Make a promise to yourself that you would complete a task within a given time. So that it gives you the right frame of mind and will help you to stop running away from challenges. Reward yourself for each small accomplishment. Focus on one task at a time. Do not divert your attention and always go according to a definite action plan. Start slowly, but gradually increase the pace as you develop your own skill sets.

It is better to give up blame game which would only spoil your relationships and popularity. Taking responsibility and doing things in an organized way can produce remarkable results. Mastering the art of self-discipline is your key to consistent self improvement.

 

4 Proven Steps to End Procrastination

Putting off doing important things more often is the habit known as procrastination. It is so dangerous as to sabotage your career and life. Many people are victims of this habit and are on the verge of giving up on reaching their goals, missing on great opportunities, failure and guilt.

Let this not happen to you. If you are reading this article, then you are well on your way to beating procrastination. It takes just your determination and sincere effort which is very much within your control.

Let us identify what makes people to procrastinate. This will ideally help you to root out the reasons that cause you to procrastinate. The common reasons and their remedies are:

1. Anxiety and Fear of failure or the unknown: Just remind yourself that you just need to start what you set out to do. Once you are in the process you will feel less stressed and will more likely to want to complete the task. So take up the very tasks you have left unfinished and give them a fresh start and you will be surprised to feel new enthusiasm once you actually get down to doing them.

Make a public announcement of your intention: Tell your higher ups, family or people that matter that you are going to complete a particular task within a specific time. This will boost your confidence and prompt you to proceed with the work at hand.

To keep yourself motivated, visualize the end result in vivid detail. The benefits that follow the admiration and respect from your peer groups will help you to kick start the work right away.

2. Expecting Perfection: Expecting a perfectly done job always creates anxiety and stress leading to procrastination. It is therefore important to set the bar a little lower than what you think is a perfectly done task. Once you get the job finished you can always do over it again and fix the flaws if any. So don’t expect your initial results to be the best. Lowering your expectation is the key to getting down to doing the job no matter what.

3. Feeling Overwhelmed: When you look at a job as overwhelming and the fear of unknown prevents you from even starting the work at hand, you are most likely to procrastinate. Tasks become easier when you actually see the results in smaller measures. To see the small success you have to begin somewhere. When you have actually brought yourself to begin performing the task at hand, break it down into smaller chunks to be finished within reasonable time limits. Focusing on starting rather than finishing the task drives you towards beating procrastination.

As and when you complete each portion within the time you set for it, a sense of satisfaction takes over and you will feel encouraged to repeat the same process through the remaining part of the task. Small achievements will keep you motivated to get going till the finish.

4. Disorganized and poor time management: Habits like spending too much time on unproductive activities or oversleeping will cause you to procrastinate as they result in laziness lower energy levels etc. With determination, you can change these habits through self talk and affirmations. It is never too late to change these self defeating habits.

When you take these concerted actions for a few days consistently, you can achieve dramatic results. Combating procrastination is doable and is well within everyone’s control. So get started and you will be amazed at the positive and permanent change in your habits and your life.

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November 13, 2009

How to Overcome Laziness Effectively and Permanently

According to Wikipedia “Laziness is the lack of desire to perform work or expend effort. What behavior is considered laziness – varies according to personal and societal standards.”

Laziness is the inner resistance to exerting effort and taking action. It is the habit of letting things to stay as they are.

The most common tendency is to avoid pain or discomfort and seek pleasure which is the main reason behind postponing doing things.  This state of keeping things pending and accumulating chores is known as lethargy, the direct result of laziness.  All of us go through this condition at some point.  But there is remedy.

Laziness can be overcome! It takes only a few determined steps to do that. Never let laziness hinder your efforts at self improvement.

Are you ready?  Let us start:

Change what you eat and drink: Increase the intake of fruits, vegetables, millets and sprouts in your daily diet. They are known to keep the body well hydrated. This will drive away lethargy by reviving your spirits. notoma

Limited use of tea and coffee are also helpful in energizing the nerves.  Avoid junk food as they only add up fat deposits in your body which causes drowsiness and dullness.

Physical Exercise: Gadgets and appliances have reduced a major part of physical strain in our daily chores.  It is therefore essential to exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes a day, as it will rejuvenate the body and boost energy and spirits.

Walking a short distance everyday and taking the staircase instead of the elevator are some ways to get some exercise even in a busy day. Once in a while you can also try massaging with essential oils like rosemary oil and eucalyptus oil followed by hot bath.

Clarity of thought: If your mind is cluttered with a multitude of thoughts on goals and tasks to finish, it will lead to confusion and lack of motivation.  To make a start meditating for about 10 minutes a day. This will help in achieving clarity of thought and you can set your priorities by writing them down.  When you have a clear plan of action, you will get into the action mode instantly.

Maintain A Schedule: List out your daily tasks and make a to-do list and havovercome lazinesse a re-look at it to score out the completed tasks.  This will be useful in keeping track of the work done and to re-adjust your schedule to achieve the targets in time.

You will be able to identify what sorts of activities that you can cut short to become more productive. When you complete small chunks of work, your self esteem and confidence levels get a boost.

Get Adequate Sleep: A good night’s sleep is not only refreshing but it also helps in maintaining a cheerful mood.  Going to bed late will again leave you lazy on the next day. Sleeping 6-8 hours a day will make us more productive.
Watch the most successful people around you:

Watch and listen to successful people. Observe what makes them special and try to emulate them. The inspiration will can kill your laziness.

Live up to your passion: Pursue things you are passionate about as this can make you feel enthusiastic and fulfilled. Your passion will drive you forward and keep your energy levels up. Promise to do even better in every area of your life and keep your promise.

Now that you know how to overcome laziness, hopefully you will never feel lazy again.

 

November 12, 2009

Balancing Work and Life through Effective Time Management

We see many people regretting that they worked hard all their lives but had never been able to pay enough attention to the other side of their lives and feel guilty, sad and unfulfilled.  Why? It is because they did not manage their time effectively to be able to pay attention to other areas of their lives and focused only on their profession or business.  Effective time management is essential to strike a balance between work and life. You will have enough time for doing all the things that you want to enjoy fulfillment in every aspect of your life.

What is Effective Time Management?

You can divide your time through proper planning and allocation for each area of your life. This will enhance your quality of life and leave no room for complaint or regrets later on. This process of managing your time in the best way to achieve a well rounded life is known as Effective Time Management.

I. Do not Mix Work and Personal Life

It is dangerous to mix work with the personal life as it can create problems in both areas.  You should be able to divide and prioritize your time to keep your sanity and enjoy a satisfied life.  Nurturing relationships is equally important to enjoy the quality of life and avoid regrets in future.  You can also avoid complaints from your family and friends while equally contributing to your career or business.

II. Spend weekends for private life

Many people bring their office work to home or work on the weekends.  This habit will ultimately result in an unfulfilled life.  If you realize this, you are one step closer to achieving work and life balance. The best way is to spend the weekends only for your interests other than work.  Weekends are meant for the family, to spend quality time with your children,   for playing indoor games or golf, tennis, or going for a long trek.

III. Do not over Work

When you over work, you will get tired and will need rest. There will also be no energy left for doing anything else even if you want to. If you spend most of your hours working even the little time that you could spend at home will be lost. So if you want to maintain a good work life balance you should never over work.

IV. Maintain a Diary or Organizer

Maintaining some kind of a record for listing your goals and priorities is essential to complete your activities in an organized manner without fail. So you can maintain a diary to note down the things you want to do and the time frame to do it.  Technology is so advanced that you can carry your electronic organizer with you anywhere so that you never miss out on any of your commitments.

V. Effective Time Management

Effective time management is nothing but setting up goals and the time frame for achieving each goal and stick to the plan.  Once you set up the goals and time lines and following them up strictly and draw boundaries accordingly you will be easily able to balance both work and life.  big child

  1. Family and Personal Goals (Such as buying a home or owning a business etc.) Fulfilling your and your family’s aspirations such as a vacation tour, higher education in a prestigious institution and so on.
  2. Business and Career Goals (Fixing the limitation on the Turnover or Aiming for the position that you dreaming for)
  3. Personal Development Goals (Increasing your wealth and social status)

By following these simple steps you will soon begin to realize that balancing work and family life is indeed possible through effective time management.

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